When Everyone Else Seems Ahead, and You Feel Behind

I’ll never forget the morning I realized I’d been comparing my whole story to everyone else’s highlight reel.

I was sitting at my kitchen table, sipping my rooboi chai milk tea, staring at my planner filled with half-started ideas and projects that didn’t feel “finished.” In part because they absolutely weren't.

Some friends had launched businesses. Others had hit big family milestones. They had clarity. They had momentum. And they had results.

And there I was… layered, messy, unsure, yet moving in tiny, seemingly invisible steps.

And for a second, I felt panic: “Am I too late? Did I miss the window?”

Then I read something online that helped SO MUCH: 
"Your path won’t look like anyone else’s because it’s layering things no one else can see yet." (Anonymous, unfortunately)

Why do we feel "behind" so often?

Most people think “behind” is a measure of time or output.

For multipassionates, it’s not. It’s a misalignment between perception and reality:

• You’re comparing your messy middle to their polished highlight

• You’re judging depth against superficial speed

• You’re measuring experimentation against linear execution

The cost of this comparison? Anxiety, guilt, self-doubt… and the subtle push to force yourself into someone else’s timeline.

Why Multipassionates “Look Late” — But Aren’t

Your wiring is different. You’re not behind. You’re layered:

• You explore, pivot, and collect insights that only become valuable later

• You experiment before committing, which builds resilience and intuition

• You integrate knowledge across fields in ways others can’t see

In short, your “delay” is actually preparation for quite a few things.

A Story: Learning to Trust Your Path

Let me tell you about Janeice, one of my students:

When we first met, she didn't really realize it, but she was absolutely drowning in guilt. Her friends were getting promotions and launching businesses, and she had… a bunch of tiny projects. Nothing “big” yet.

She felt frozen. Afraid to commit to one thing because what if she picked the wrong one, but also whatever she picked, she wanted it to work extremely fast to "catch up."

We reframed her perspective:

“Each small project is an experiment. Every experiment builds skill, confidence, and clarity. Every time I try, without holding back, I'm building unique skills and creating my unique self. That can't happen any other way. The work is under construction, not stalled.”

She started logging “micro-wins” daily: five minutes spent learning a new skill, a quick prototype, one insight captured.

Two months later, she had the clarity to choose one project to seriously scale — and it went smoother and better than she imagined!
Her “late” wasn’t late. It was strategic groundwork.

Practical Tools to Stop Feeling Behind

1. Micro-Wins Journal

   • Track 1–3 small things you did each day that built skill, clarity, or confidence.

   • Review weekly to see how far you’ve quietly come. Take slightly bigger steps this next week. SLIGHTLY. I see you, I know you want big results. THIS is how they happen. SLIGHTLY bigger steps each week.

2. Hidden Skill Mapping

   • List skills, insights, and experiences you’ve gained from “small” experiments.

   • See how they connect. Sometimes you’ll find the blueprint for your next leap is already in your hands.

3. Future Self Check-In

   • Ask:

     “If I keep showing up this way for the next 6 months, what will I be capable of?”

   • Focus on capacity, not timeline.

4. Comparison Detox

   • Unfollow social media, newsletters, or sources that make you feel late or behind.

   • Replace with one thing that inspires your own layered growth.

Keep this in mind:

Your story doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. In fact, no matter what you do, it simple won't.

The world celebrates early clarity.
You are celebrating depth.

Every misstep, pivot, and exploration is laying a foundation.

One day, people will look at your life and assume it “happened fast.”

They won’t see the hundreds of tiny experiments that created it.

And that’s exactly how it should be.

You’re not behind.
You’re building quietly, steadily, and wisely.